Thursday, October 25, 2007
Emotional Stress of Losing a Job
I wanted to take a moment to express my concerns over those who lose a job. There is great emotional stress with losing a job, especially if it is one that you have worked for years and have been loyal to your employer. All of the emotions that come along with the loss of a job is very similar to losing a family member that has passed away, or going through a divorce.
One of the very first things that you have to realize is that you are a very important person. Most likely the company that you worked for did not let you go because you were not performing, or were inadequate. If you were inadequate you would have performance evaluations to reflect this and would have been let go long before the company started their lay off process.
Accept change. Change is not always a bad thing. Change sometimes helps us to grow in other directions, in areas that we would not have otherwise tried to grow in. Change also keeps us from becoming stagnant, so we don't become similar to moss in a pond. Make change work for you.
Make something out of the fact you are being laid off! If not to prove it to yourself that you are self sufficient, do it to prove to the folks who laid you off that you are a very capable and intelligent person and you will not let them stall your life!
That is right, get mad, but don't hurt anyone. Being angry is going to be a phase that you will go through, so be prepared for it. Before you become angry though, you will be hurt and you will ask yourself why this has happened to you. You may or may not be able to find an answer to that question, and if not, don't let it get you down. Pick up your chin and show the world that you are a valuable person and you will carry on and enjoy life.
You WILL find another job and you WILL be happy again.
It is ok to be selfish during times of emotional stress. After all, if you don't take care of yourself first, how can you take care of others. You have to make sure that you are ok before you can help others.
There are many books and internet articles out there that will help you get through times of change. You can Google "Dealing with Change" and come up with many hits.
There is a book called "Rebuilding: After Your Relationship Ends" by Bruce Fisher that has the emotional steps a person goes through and how to deal with each of these steps as you go through them. Even though this is geared towards someone going through a divorce or loss of a loved one, it can be applied to the loss of a job. I read the entire book and followed it in order to survive a divorce. It was so helpful to me, that I have always recommended it to friends going through problems in their life and it has helped them tremendously. It helps you realize that you are human, and that you have a reason for being, and that your emotions are not unique to you. Others have felt the very same thing you are going through and have survived. One place you can find this book, besides a bookstore, is on Amazon.
I lost my job in March of 2006 and my wife lost hers in March of 2007. I looked for another computer job throughout the severance period and actually drew one week of unemployment before I decided to try something different. I decided to try driving a semi truck over the road, which was fun at first, but then became too intensive and time consuming. It kept me away from home and my wife which neither one of us liked. So I gave the job a little over a year and quit after the company I was working for drove me 4200 miles in one week and ran me on a recovery mission that lasted all day and night. I decided that I needed a job that would let me be home every night with my family, so I am looking for another job, hopefully in computers, and I will find one. My wife found a job in her same career field, software testing, right at the end of her severance period. I think she may have drawn one or two unemployment checks just before she found the job.
There is light at the end of the tunnel. Just keep your chin up, and don't let your emotions drag you down. If your emotions get to be too much for you to handle, then read up on how to handle them. If that does not help, then seek professional care to help you get through the situation.
Don't look at it as if it were the end of everything, because it is not.
One of the very first things that you have to realize is that you are a very important person. Most likely the company that you worked for did not let you go because you were not performing, or were inadequate. If you were inadequate you would have performance evaluations to reflect this and would have been let go long before the company started their lay off process.
Accept change. Change is not always a bad thing. Change sometimes helps us to grow in other directions, in areas that we would not have otherwise tried to grow in. Change also keeps us from becoming stagnant, so we don't become similar to moss in a pond. Make change work for you.
Make something out of the fact you are being laid off! If not to prove it to yourself that you are self sufficient, do it to prove to the folks who laid you off that you are a very capable and intelligent person and you will not let them stall your life!
That is right, get mad, but don't hurt anyone. Being angry is going to be a phase that you will go through, so be prepared for it. Before you become angry though, you will be hurt and you will ask yourself why this has happened to you. You may or may not be able to find an answer to that question, and if not, don't let it get you down. Pick up your chin and show the world that you are a valuable person and you will carry on and enjoy life.
You WILL find another job and you WILL be happy again.
It is ok to be selfish during times of emotional stress. After all, if you don't take care of yourself first, how can you take care of others. You have to make sure that you are ok before you can help others.
There are many books and internet articles out there that will help you get through times of change. You can Google "Dealing with Change" and come up with many hits.
There is a book called "Rebuilding: After Your Relationship Ends" by Bruce Fisher that has the emotional steps a person goes through and how to deal with each of these steps as you go through them. Even though this is geared towards someone going through a divorce or loss of a loved one, it can be applied to the loss of a job. I read the entire book and followed it in order to survive a divorce. It was so helpful to me, that I have always recommended it to friends going through problems in their life and it has helped them tremendously. It helps you realize that you are human, and that you have a reason for being, and that your emotions are not unique to you. Others have felt the very same thing you are going through and have survived. One place you can find this book, besides a bookstore, is on Amazon.
I lost my job in March of 2006 and my wife lost hers in March of 2007. I looked for another computer job throughout the severance period and actually drew one week of unemployment before I decided to try something different. I decided to try driving a semi truck over the road, which was fun at first, but then became too intensive and time consuming. It kept me away from home and my wife which neither one of us liked. So I gave the job a little over a year and quit after the company I was working for drove me 4200 miles in one week and ran me on a recovery mission that lasted all day and night. I decided that I needed a job that would let me be home every night with my family, so I am looking for another job, hopefully in computers, and I will find one. My wife found a job in her same career field, software testing, right at the end of her severance period. I think she may have drawn one or two unemployment checks just before she found the job.
There is light at the end of the tunnel. Just keep your chin up, and don't let your emotions drag you down. If your emotions get to be too much for you to handle, then read up on how to handle them. If that does not help, then seek professional care to help you get through the situation.
Don't look at it as if it were the end of everything, because it is not.
Always remember that you are not in this alone. Others have gone and are going through the same thing at this same point in time. You are not being singled out, no matter how much you believe you are.
You WILL survive and you WILL succeed. You might as well survive with a smile on your face than to be miserable. At least that is the way I wish to survive, don't you?
